Guess what. At three o'clock I will be the only one in the office. That means that the responsibility rests on me to OPEN THE SEALED BIDS! Wow. I am quaking with the solemnity of this moment.
Actually it is not that big of a deal.
Today I am going to type a paper for your friend and mine, Bailey H. Robinson. He is going to pay me $10. Originally he offered $20 but I felt guilty because it is only a little three pager.
For no reason at all, I will now attempt to list all of my greatest disappointments in life:
I remember when I was younger I really wanted to be a boy. I am still a girl.
I remember in 3rd grade, me and my best friend John Frank had the same shoes. Then he got new ones.
I remember wishing that I could get deathly ill so that the make a wish foundation would give me something cool.
I remember I really wanted braces and headgear, but I never got either.
I remember when I jumped off that 3rd story balcony to show Chip how fun it was, and then it hurt alot and I bled and still have scars.
I remember walking home from elementary school and accidentally dropping all of my change down the storm drain.
I remember one time i cried at school and they sent me to the counselor where I was made to talk to puppets. One was a dragon. One was just orange.
I remember how that "flying chair" i built did not work.
I remember getting dumped alot.
I remember getting "Who's Who" in highschool, and begging them to change "class clown" to "wittiest," but no dice.
I remember my stupid highschool soccer coach in 11th and 12th grade and how she always told me how much I was improving and then she would give me like ten minutes playing time in a 90 minute game.
I remember missing practice to go to a psychiatrist due to severe depression and her not letting me play sub state my senior year.
I remember my mom saying she wanted to kill herself but she thought it would hurt too much.
I remember going to the University of Alabama. It sucked alot.
I remember when Jimmy died and no one told me. I missed the funeral.
I remember making great friends in college twelve weeks before I graduated.
That is right now.
"I remember wishing that I could ride on the back of a sperm whale. Among other things." --Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman outtakes.