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where is life's instruction book?

Well, I have really fallen down on the job of diary updating. I am finished with my summer grad school classes now, and I am entering into my 7th month of pregnancy!

The good news is that I am finally noticably pregnant, although people continually tell me how "small" I am. Actually I feel like I am about to burst and my belly button is inside out, but what do I know, its just my body.

The bad news is that my husband's father has been diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time, and he will not be treated this time. We were planning on returning to Asia on September 15th, and have infact already booked our plane tickets, but my husband's father has an estimated 3-6 months to live. This puts us in a difficult crossroads of decision making. The problem is that if we return to Asia, and THEN his father is at death's door, I will be too pregnant to fly back to the states and my husband will have to go alone. That means he could possibly miss the birth of his first son.

On the other hand, what if his father doesn't die in 3-6 months? Another American we work with in Laos spent the entire fall semester at home waiting for her dad to die of cancer, and he is still alive. She is actually kind of frustrated because she doesn't feel free to go on with her life yet, and her dad is all crabby and unappreciative of her company. Yet, he is dying.

We are trying to make the right decision, and so far all concerned have advised us to stay in the states to have the baby. The other difficulty is that my husband's father hasn't been TOLD that he has only 3-6 months to live, so it might seem funny to him if we decide to stay here until December.

Regardless of if he dies or not, we have to return to Asia in December. We can't just wait and wait for him to die, because you just can't know how that will come to pass.

The main issue is that I don't want my husband to have to choose between which major life milestone he will be able to attend.

Decisions are hard. Why did I have to become an adult?


Monday, Aug. 09, 2004 at 8:29 PM

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