*Insert sigh of relief* it is good to be "home".

I am back in the U.S. for the next two months. I got to the house at about 1 A.M. last night.

I had a good trip back, all things considered. On the flight from Shanghai to L.A., Nick and I were seated in the center row of the plane and had all 5 seats to ourselves. It was a tweleve hour flight so of course we stretched out in the seats for a snooze. Lots of jealous onlookers. Mwahaha! The plane was full of elderly Chinese folks. I don't know what the deal was, perhaps an outing sponsored by the Ministry of Oldness?

The food wasn't so bad. We had requested vegetarian meals, and I think that the meat portion of the airplane meals is where most of them go wrong. The only crappy thing was that for breakfast we had cold spaghetti noodles with approximately 93 mushrooms in it. I hate mushrooms, and there are some pretty funky mushrooms in Asia. They look and smell like some sort of sea life, which I find disgusting.

When we entered the airport in LA I was immediately inspired to sing the song "They Commin' to America" as I was standing in the immigration line with a big group of monks. I swear I am a monk magnet these days...

The second thought that struck me was that EVERYONE was HUGE! I started to get frightenend. I thought I was the huge one all this year. Now I think I might have to shop at in the petite section.

I walked by a California Pizza Kitchen restaurant and thought "Hey, a pizza would be good...", but then I looked around and noticed that everyone in the restaurant was obese, and the music from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho started playing in my brain.

I ate there anyway.

But, seriously, if Americans are going to be so big, they need to make the airplane seats bigger. On the flight from LA to Atlanta I was wedged in beside a big man. His leg was touching me and he kept jiggling it nervously, which in turn caused his leg to rub mine, which I found extremely unpleasant. And the three ladies behind me had to put up their arm rests in order to fit in the seats together. Isn't this a design flaw?

I was also sad that on my Delta Airlines flight, I was given a sack lunch that I had to pick up myself out of a cooler. On China Eastern and Thai Air, they still SERVE you meals. And they also gave me free goody bags with like toothbrushes and those sleep masks like movie stars wore in the 1940's inside. Delta didn't give me jack; they even tried to charge $5.00 to use their crappy disposable headphones. Humph.

Now I am doing laundry and enjoying the use of a dryer. I have already taken two showers since I have been home. The things I missed most about America were all plumbing related. And carpet is nice. Only, now that I have been influenced by China, I can't walk on a carpet with shoes on in good conscience. I have to go around the perimeter or take off my shoes.

Ah well. I have alot to do. You know how unpacking goes.

ckb

Saturday, Jun. 28, 2003 at 2:25 P.M.