Toilets are different all over this world of ours. If you happened upon me in China while using what we westerners call a 'squatty potty', I might look something like this

But maybe a little less 'decent' than that.

This evening I was invited to have a homemade dinner, cooked with love by the swimming coach, Mr. Dong. I always get confused as to if his name is Mr. Dong or Mr. Wang. You can probably guess why. I will just say this: I consider both names to be a euphamism. Furthermore, even if we aren't talking about euphamisms, there are really very few surnames among the entire population (over one billion) of China. Almost everyone is a Wang, Dong, Zhao, Zhang, Chun, Wu, Ma, etc. So it is hard to keep it all straight sometimes. On the other hand, if you forget someone's name, you can guess and probably get it right.

Nevertheless, he is a wonderful cook and I highly recommend his 'long beans', which (don't get any ideas) are what we call green beans. Mr. Dong/Wang wasn't actually present during the consumption of the meal he prepared for us, which is just as well because he doesn't speak English, but I told his roomate that Mr. Dong needs to give Nick some Chinese cooking lessons. I hope it shall come to pass.

Mr. Dong is a catch. I mentioned this to a male co-worker the other day, and he demanded to know why, and what exactly makes a man 'a catch.' Well, Mr. Dong is a coach, so he is fit, he cooks, and he is really good at this hard board game that is kind of like chess. So that shows that he is 1)stacked 2) slightly domestic 3)smart.

To be 'a catch', a man must have at least one domestic skill. Cooking is a good example, as is woodworking, cleaning, or a craft, like knitting. Yes, I said knitting. I know a boy is manly in every way, plus he knits. This makes him nearly irresistable to the womens. It is because girls want to be pampered, and how better to be pampered than to have a boyfriend who cooks you elegant meals and knits you sweaters and hats! A musical talent can also count as a 'loose' domestic skill. Excessive athleticism, internet/video gaming, DVD collecting, and/or 'scratching' are all examples of things which DO NOT count as a domestic skill. I would venture to say they fall into the 'undesireable' category.

Now the invidual who wanted to know this information in the first place does not believe it is true. Note: he does not have a girlfriend nor has he had one in the last five years. I think that illustrates my point quite well.

Chew on this.

ckb

Tuesday, Mar. 18, 2003 at 9:02 PM