On Thursday night I had one of those "down" moments: the ones where I starting thinking about how I haven't actually accomplished anything with my life at this point. Then I started thinking about how I am employed as a teacher, but I have never felt like a REAL teacher. I feel like an imposter. And I don't think I am a very good one, either.
I think about this alot actually. I don't even know how I would define "success", but I am pretty sure I am not successful. I'm not sure if I equate success with money or status the most, but at any rate, I don't possess either.
I had a bright spot though. After class on Friday, one of the students told me that she was really excited to be in my class, and she feels like she is learning alot. It really made my week. Maybe even made my semester.
Jonas will be 1 on Tuesday. We are planning a party for him on Friday. It is kind of getting out of control. Tons of our friends want to come. Even a waiter at one of our favorite restaurants asked if he could come. I am feeling overwhelmed and have asked for help with food. Two of my friends are bringing food, and I also hired a man who makes banana roti on a little cart that he connected to a large tricycle. He makes the roti (like a thin pancake, I'm not sure if it is Malaysian or Indian in origin) and then chops up bananas and puts them inside and covers the whole thing with honey or chocolate or sweetened condensed milk.
The party will be outside (the landlord wants us to have it on his badminton court) from 3:30-6:30 on Friday. I don't really have any ideas for stuff to do besides eating, but I hope that isn't a problem because the guests will all be adults. Hopefully they can entertain themselves. I have no idea what to expect. This could get crazy. We have different groups of friends from different spheres of our lives. We have a Filipino group of friends, Lao friends, American friends, Canadian friends, Chinese friends...when they all get together, it might be really awkward. My husband estimates that we will have about 50 people. I hope he is wrong.
ckb
Sunday, Oct. 23, 2005 at 10:20 PM
